Need random verbage for a slide presentation?  Want to impress the boss?  Want to toss out a tough question in your next meeting, even if you’ve been playing Angry Birds under the table the whole time?  Want to sound like you have an MBA… or if you already have one, want to sound like you got your money’s worth?  If the answer is “yes,” you’ll love the Business Jargon Generator.

The idea isn’t new – in fact I adapted it from a similar “Random Phrase Generator” my Dad had in the 1980s (he worked for the government so it came in handy all the time).  Whenever you need to fill space in a business presentation, document, meeting or other encounter, simply string together one word from each list (in order 1, 2, 3) and… presto!  You’ll have all the business jargon you need.

For example, if you’re not sure what to call your next PowerPoint slide deck you might use “Experiential Paradigm Convergence.”  Nobody will know what it means – and that’s the point.  It could mean anything.  Hey – they may even think you’re onto something subtle and insightful!

Want to throw a curve ball at someone during a meeting, ask them how they plan to handle “Extended Scenario Innovation.”  Make sure you do it with a straight face, then watch em’ squirm.

Want your boss to think you’re forward-looking? Ask why nobody’s been prioritizing “Proactive Competence Alignment.”  If your boss asks what that means, say it’s to ensure “Global Impact Integration.”

If you’re an entrepreneur trying to raise venture capital, you might try using every word on this list in your next pitch.  After all, who wouldn’t want to fund “Holistic Network Generation” based on “Intuitive Value Mobilization” to achieve “Catalyzed Mindshare Convergence”?

You’re welcome.

Author: Thomas Thurston, President, Growth Science International, LLC

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15 Responses to Business Jargon Generator

  1. Nathan B. says:

    HA! Hilarious!

  2. Jonathan says:

    Great tool, although it could be improved through more guided synergy modeling. :)

  3. A. Nguyen says:

    This article needs more holistic impact convergence.

  4. Morris says:

    No… no… thank YOU :)

    Love it!

  5. Qoyyuum says:

    Best List Ever! Thanks for sharing! I might uses these for an event or something. :D

  6. Tom Hackim says:

    Very well done. As a professional Copywriter these are very good words to know. I especially liked the credit given to dear old Dad who worked for Uncle Sam and this “schtick” came in handy. Still comes in handy. What goes around…

  7. Tom Hackim says:

    PS from above … I just noticed the tag line of your company… “Hearing True things is more important than saying smart things”! Cool – that could be a line from Dante’s Divine Comedy. Way out there bro!

  8. Ben says:

    You missed STRATEGERY – playing on the words “strategic” and common morphological word ending “-ery” or “-ary”

  9. Thomas Thurston says:

    “Strategery” – that’s awesome! Will definitely add it to the list. Reminds me of “Synnovation” (synergy + innovation)

  10. Andy Nathan says:

    Love it! You need a confuse button in there for the generator, so people can look at you with a mixture of awe and confusion.

  11. Manbir Waraich says:

    There we go! I always knew that such a thing existed! I wish I had it before coming to Thunderbird. Could’ve saved 2 years & tons of money :)

    Well, better late than never!

  12. Charlie C says:

    Are you taking suggestions for additions to the list? Suggest adding the words “robust” and “integrated” to column 1 and “best practice” and “optimization” to column 3. And add “multivariate” to column 2. Wonder how long the lists could get if you got everyone to weigh in? :) Awesome stuff – thanks.

  13. Stephen says:

    Anyone who admires this and similar exercises in language may wish to google ‘Shakespearean Insult Generator.’ While this uses quite different forms of expression the effect is much the same and quite hilarious. I did one called ‘Christmas Greetings Generator.’

  14. Homepage says:

    … [Trackback]…

    [...] Read More here: growthsci.com/blog/jargon/ [...]…

  15. charles says:

    Wheest
    Old Scottish word for “shut up”

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